127. Leadership is Feminine with Kris Plachy
26 October 2021 | By Salome Schillack
Hands up if you’ve ever thought, "I am NOT cut out for this whole CEO thing."
Being titled CEO made me feel like a total imposter. I had a business idea, driven by purpose, wanting to create something beautiful and meaningful in the world to help people, and I had brought that into reality with a desire to change the world.
But this CEO title seemed to suck the beauty out of it.
Why is that?
When we look at 'good leadership' qualities, typically, it's very masculine traits that come to mind— powerful, assertive, authoritative, decisive. It's no wonder women all over the world are thinking, NO WAY when it comes to leading a team. It can feel uncomfortable and unnatural, especially when you’re wired to operate from feminine energy.
BUT guess what? There is another way.
Imagine being a leader who exudes all the beautiful feminine energy traits we've spent our whole life learning?
Imagine leading your business by nurturing, communicating, listening, supporting, and showing grace to everyone you come across, from clients to employees to fellow entrepreneurs?
The world is changing, masculinity is taking a backseat, and femininity is rising to the top! There has never been a more critical time for leaders to embrace feminine energy and lead gently. No need to sound, act and think like a man to achieve success; you can embrace your natural traits and shape the world around you with the gorgeous energy you naturally bring to the table.
Today on The Shine Show, you'll meet my mentor, fellow visionary, and friend, Kris Plachy. She's the expert in teaching women entrepreneurs everything they didn't know they needed to know about managing and leading others to achieve extraordinary results while remaining authentic to themselves.
Tune in to discover:
- What feminine energy leadership looks like in a practical day-to-day sense
- How to handle resentment that occurs from being ‘everyone’s everything’
- Managing a team in a way that is conducive to your natural traits
- Using feminine energy as your secret sauce for attracting the most accomplished, driven, high quality employees in the world
AND so much more!
I’m so excited to share this episode with you, as leading with femininity is emerging in its entirety, and I want to do all I can to set YOU up to pioneer the movement. It's time to normalize the feminine way of leadership, embrace the gentle, embody kindness and lead the way with grace!
P.S Has this episode inspired you to change the way you lead? I would love to hear your thoughts! It’s so important to surround yourself with female leaders who are embracing their natural energy, and I would love to be that for you. Head to my Instagram (@salome.schillack) and let’s chat!
When you subscribe and review the podcast not only does that give me the warm and fuzzies all over, it also helps other people to find the show.
When other people find the show they get to learn how to create more freedom in their lives from their online courses too!!
So do a good deed for all womenkind and subscribe and review this show and I will reward you with a shout out on the show!!
Salome Schillack: (00:00)
Hello, and welcome to episode number 127 of the Shine Show. Today, I have the incredible privilege of introducing you to my friend, a mentor of mine and a woman that is just showing us all the way. Kris Plachy joins us. Kris is the thought leader and expert for female entrepreneurs. Kris has poured her life's work into learning about, and then teaching how to lead a team. In a space where there is a lot of noise and advice, Kris has designed a how to, of team leadership through her how to CEO for female entrepreneurs program. Kris knows without a doubt, there is no challenge you're facing as a leader that she can't help you solve. She's helped me solve multiple issues in my business, as the leader of the business, she's helped me become confidently feminine as a leader in this space and own my title of CEO. I am excited to bring you my interview with Kris Plachy, on how to lead as a female entrepreneur. Enjoy.
Giving up your time and freedom to make money is so 2009. Hi, I'm your host Salome Schillack, and I help online course creators launch, grow and scale their businesses with Facebook and Instagram ads, so that they can make more money and have an even bigger impact in the world. If you're ready to be inspired, to dream bigger, launch sooner and grow your online business faster, then tune in, because you are ready to shine, and this is the shine show. Kris, thank you so much for being here with me today.
Kris Plachy: (01:56)
I am so thrilled to be here with you today my love.
Salome Schillack: (01:59)
Yes, you are my one of my favorite humans in their whole wide world.
Kris Plachy: (02:04)
I feel the same way.
Salome Schillack: (02:08)
There you go. I was going to say, Kris has the most infectious laugh, and she's wickedly funny as well. I hope we have a lot of laughter today, because you can't help laughing when Kris laughs. Kris, thank you so much for being here today. Your new podcast leadership is feminine is just hitting me right in the heart there with every single episode, so I had to have you on to come and share with the shine show listeners, about leadership is feminine. It's not how we were raised. It's not what we were told, right?
Kris Plachy: (02:47)
Salome Schillack: (02:51)
I feel like we are alive in such an amazing, incredible time in this world right now, where the masculinity is taking a backseat, femininity is rising to the top, but your take on it is leadership has always been feminine. Talk to me about leadership is feminine. How is it feminine and how are we placing ourselves with regards to our femininity in the world right now?
Kris Plachy: (03:29)
That's so interesting. I'd love it because it is, it is a crazy, amazing, weird, a little terrifying time. The foundations that all of us have stood on for literally centuries are very tentative and tenuous and that's good. I think we need that. When you really think about women, at least in the most recent history, so we could just go 1,000 years maybe. Women and men have had very clear roles, and without over stereotyping, I think most of us know what those are. Leadership has been very associated with power, aggression, being in charge, and there's been this connection between you are a leader only if you have followers, all those kinds of things. The way that people became leaders was to proving strength, through strengths.
Fighting, killing each other, war, and that's all very male energy, it's a lot of masculine energy. I do think it's important that I say, we have to have a little bit of both in who we all are. I think men and women, but what I believe in watching, because I grew up in a very different environment. I grew up with a single mom who had to raise, who had to figure out how to make money, and she was very well-educated, but didn't have a lot of experience in a corporate environment, and her story is pretty interesting. She got divorced, had no money, couldn't get a credit card. A woman that she worked form gave her, did a pay it forward, gave her the money so that she could start taking care of me and build a life, and get a credit card.
Kris Plachy: (05:26)
This was in the ‘70s, and then she went into and became an executive in her industry and was very, very successful. But she worked in a male, she worked in the beef industry, cattle, cattle ranchers. She worked in a male dominated industry. Not knowing it, I watched her my whole life, have to figure out how to negotiate this environment, and she was very feminine, my mother. As I've worked with more and more and more and more women, what I've watched is women who are entrepreneurs, who don't have a lot of leadership training, management training, they just come in, "I have an idea, I can make money." Then they do. Then they have people and then they don't know what to do, and they dismiss all the skills that they have, that they've learned as a woman, as a sister, as a daughter, as a wife, as a mother, they dismiss it because the modeling is this other heavy masculine energy.
Kris Plachy: (06:32)
Then so many women sit at the helms of their business and feel like imposters. They don't feel like they belong there, because they don't fit a mold that was never for them. In the process, we have completely denied in so many ways, our own assets, our own ability to collaborate, to communicate, to build teams, to nurture, to connect, all the things that women are naturally most good at, but then are dismissed as the soft skill. Hard skills are the ones that frankly are easier to learn, soft skills are really like emotional intelligence and being able to read the room and being able to understand someone without having a hair. That's hard.
Women who already have that though, they've been dismissing it, quieting it, telling themselves they're too soft. They're too permissive. I think you can actually have all the cool boundaries you need. You can lead with grace. You can create lots of beautiful structures in your organization. You can have accountability, and you can be a woman. You don't have to try to sound, look, act like a man.
Salome Schillack: (07:50)
Absolutely. Where do we stopped learn that?
Kris Plachy: (07:56)
The more women who do that, the more it just normalizes it. That's my mission. That's why my program is how to CEO. I want women to just take it. [inaudible 00:08:06]. So many of the women who start with me are like, "That just makes me really uncomfortable. I'm not a CEO. I don't fit the mold of a CEO. Other people are like, that's not for me. I'm not. I'm just a business owner." There's this hole. For me, whether you call yourself a CEO or not is irrelevant. It's, let's just go through the process of understanding why you're so resistant to it.
Salome Schillack: (08:37)
When do you, go from being a business owner to being a CEO? Because I think there's a, as with everything, when you're growing a business, there's a moment where your mind has to be there before your body catches up,
Kris Plachy: (08:54)
Salome Schillack: (08:54)
And before your finances catches up.
Kris Plachy: (08:57)
Salome Schillack: (08:59)
But it's also, the other side of it is true is, and that's what happened for me as you know, because you were helping me through this, is you start building a team and you view yourself still as a business owner, but now I'm a business owner with three, four or five people on my team, and then you go, "Well, yeah, but I don't want to call myself a CEO, but I have CEO problems." Where does that, is there a moment where you go, because especially my audience that are mostly women who start their business on their own, and then success means that they can build a team. Success means that they have to step into that leadership role, but where does it go from business owner to CEO and how do you know when you're there?
Kris Plachy: (09:52)
Such a great question. If we think about it this way, I like to say that there's really three ways I've watched people who are in the entrepreneur space. If they don't call themselves an entrepreneur, they either go with founder, owner, business owner, or we can go with CEO. Inherently a founder, that means I found it. I found it. When we use that language, I don't not like it. I called myself often a founder, but a founder, it's still a lot about me. I found it, I created it, it's got my name on it. An owner, it's mine. That's usually, especially for solo entrepreneurs who just have a couple people and they just get started. When we think of ourselves as owning something, it belongs to me, which means what I'm really doing is hiring people to help me.
I'm not building an organization, a business that has nothing to do with me eventually. For as long as I continue to think of myself as an owner, then the people I hire are just there to be helpful. It's a mental thing really. CEO. We go from solo preneur, which is me, and then we go to entrepreneur, which is we. This is where most women start working with me, is when they get to that entrepreneur space. Now, they have five, eight people, whatever more. But they're still thinking a lot like it's mine, and they can't figure out why they can't get things done through people, all the things. People are very frustrating. So we have to move into that we space. This is a collective. Then the CEO is really, when you can get into that visionary, like what got you there in the first place. You started with a vision, there was a reason you decided to hang up a shingle or start a website, or whatever the heck you did, and then you got to go through the mess.
I know there's an author called a messy middle, and now I'm forgetting him, forgive me. Then we go, we get to CEO, and then it's them. The whole, it's an ecosystem, and I'm the visionary. My job at that point is to support, drive, feed, engage, do the things that drive the success of the business, instead of being the one who literally has her hands inside the engine tinkering, doing all the things. That moment you're absolutely right, but I have to do first always is invite women to start to see their business as something outside of themselves. It's not yours. You weren't given the gift and the dream of the business, but it isn't yours. Now it belongs to your clients, your employees. You're the world, you've put it there. Now, you are the custodian of that business, and that's when we start to transition into a CEO mindset.
Salome Schillack: (12:58)
What I love about that transformation is the tremendous amount of freedom that comes with that.
Kris Plachy: (13:05)
Salome Schillack: (13:07)
There's for me, I feel like when I did that, when I went through that transformation, there's this moment of exhalation. You go, that's not all me anymore. And you realize you don't have to show up on social media as you, every single day, you just create the vision, and the beauty of then being able to hire the right people and just hold space for them, and let them do what they do best, working towards your visionary. I have found that a lot of my students often ask me, "Well, how do you manage someone? How do you make them do what you want them to do?" When you get to that CEO place, it's no longer about getting them to do what you want them to do. It's about holding space for them to do what they're so good at. Nine out of 10 times people do it differently than I would have done it, but they do it with their flavor. That's when it starts to take on a whole life of its own.
Kris Plachy: (14:16)
As long as the results are clear that you want them to deliver, and that's what so many women struggle with initially, is that it has to be a certain way, and then that causes a lot of friction. There's a lot of pieces in there, but I do believe you're spot on. I call the CEO role, the gift of all the work you did before. Once you've really arrived to that CEO position, it's the gift out of the hustle.
Salome Schillack: (14:47)
What's the thing that stops most women from getting to the gift?
Kris Plachy: (14:51)
Difficult. It's hard.
Salome Schillack: (14:54)
Kris Plachy: (14:55)
Learning how to manage people, building systems to help you manage people, creating consistent practices and treating your business, not as your project, but as the thing that needs its own processes to follow, not just what you feel like doing today. The constraint that is required of a visionary to allow other people to follow through on things. Visionaries are typically very quick start and have lots of things, and they want to change it. This is still for me, These are things that my team and I wrangle me with. That's for sure a huge part of, it's just the hard part. I don't know how to say that any better. It's so unsexy. But once you know that you can manage anyone and handle anything that happens on the team at any time, regardless of whatever the issue is, there's a freedom that comes with that.
Salome Schillack: (16:00)
There's a recipe for it. I love this. I think this is one of the best things that when I worked with you, and how long ago was that? I feel like it's two years.
Kris Plachy: (16:11)
Salome Schillack: (16:15)
In a way it feels like yesterday, but it also feels like a lifetime ago.
Kris Plachy: (16:19)
I know it.
Salome Schillack: (16:20)
That you taught me that there’s a recipe in this. There's a recipe. Let me just explain the recipe. I feel like you gave me the language to tell people when they're messing up. You gave me the language to tell people when they're doing the right thing. I think the biggest thing that you gave me was the skills to let go of, what if they don't like me? Or what if they respond in a negative way? Those were all things that I had to learn from you, and I feel like you had such a great recipe for how to do this. When it gets hard, especially for these, for visionaries like me and you, who are the creative people who just wants to do the thing we feel like doing today. Because we're so emotive by nature. What are the disciplines, and discipline is a masculine thing. But what are the disciplines?
Kris Plachy: (17:27)
I guess some people like to think that, but if you were a mother raising children, I think you would disagree. Discipline is quite feminine. I think it's interesting how we just have associated it as this edgy, even accountability can feel very masculine, but frankly, all accountability is an agreement. We made an agreement. Did you follow through on your agreement? As soon as we drop that, but the ... ask the question again.
Salome Schillack: (17:57)
How do we, women who are visionaries, who naturally tend to thrive in chaos, naturally tend to want to follow our instinct, naturally tend to want to be responsive instead of proactive, naturally want to chase the squirrel. How do we create structure?
Kris Plachy: (18:22)
I have never used this analogy before, but I'm going to share it because, and I know not everybody listening who is a woman has children, but I think you can still relate to this. Imagine if every woman who had a child just decided, okay, I'm done. You too, and I'm going to go do this now. We don't do that, because we understand we have a level of commitment and what do we do? We grow in our mothering and our parenting with the child. The same thing is true with a business. See, I have this inherent belief that you were given this dream on your heart, this vision. You were given something unique and exclusive to you, where it from whoever, I don't know. But it was given to you, and because you took action on it and you literally produced it, you put it into the world, you are the custodian of it.
It doesn't mean you don't get to have new ideas, and it doesn't mean you don't get to try things on. It just means that the discipline of that business baby's growth, is your responsibility. When you don't stay the course, you don't allow, create opportunity for it to become so much more than you probably even think it could. Really once we get to team, that's when so many women quit. I just had a woman who joined my program just a few weeks ago. She had like a team of five, part of the reason she joined is three of them quit, so she's down to a straggle crew, and she's like, "Should I just scrap it and just be a solo entrepreneur again, because that feels a lot easier." Of course I'm like, "Look, I can't tell you what to do," but it feels like it's not the right time to make that choice. It's hard to hire people right now. It's really hard to hire.
Salome Schillack: (20:29)
Is it? Why?
Kris Plachy: (20:31)
I will say this. It's funny because I asked, I actually asked my clients who I know you were in the lab with me and I still have some women who've been in the lab, some of them up to four years, so I asked a few of them that have been around a long time, four years about that. They're not having any trouble hiring. Yes, if you think of hiring is really transactional and you think of it as I need people to help me, employees have become much more discerning. That's what we're finding through this whole pandemic. Here in the states, we've had massive, the great resignation they're calling it. I don't know if the same is true in Australia, but it's massive amounts of people are leaving the workforce and they're not coming back.
If I'm going to come back, we have to figure out what is attracting that person who's talented, capable, accomplished, but they have a different perspective on work now than they did two years ago and they can. My perspective is that women actually, women business owners actually have a secret sauce, because you can connect with people differently, you can create environments much better than big corporations can, you have a lot more flexibility. There's a lot of assets that women who are CEOs of small businesses have to offer. I think that's the super secret sauce that a lot of women just don't know how to tap into, or they think they shouldn't.
Salome Schillack: (22:09)
Or they think they shouldn't. I like that. Again, this is not the traditional model.
Kris Plachy: (22:15)
Salome Schillack: (22:15)
That's so funny for me that you say hiring is hard at the moment, because 2021 has been the year where I have hired the most people, and it has been the easiest.
Kris Plachy: (22:25)
Of course it has.
Salome Schillack: (22:27)
Yes, because I was in the lab with Kris plachy and I learned all these things.
Kris Plachy: (22:32)
I can't take all the credit.
Salome Schillack: (22:34)
You can, you can. You take it.
Kris Plachy: (22:35)
But when you are a heart-centered, value centered business, and you have a clear vision, you attract people who want to deliver on purpose in their life. Everybody thinks it's about money and about benefits, and listen, for a fraction of people, it is.
Salome Schillack: (22:50)
Yeah, but it is. I agree with you, especially women because I hire mostly women. Not because I don't want men, just because I want to create a different work environment for women. Women do not need to sit in a cubicle from nine to five. I think neither do men, but that's a whole other can of worms. But I write job ads in such a way that every single person who applies, who is serious, starts their application with, "You wrote this for me, This was written for me."
Kris Plachy: (23:21)
That's marketing. There's that secret sauces.
Salome Schillack: (23:27)
There is there. You need a marketing niche, and you need employee niche. I do have the skill of sewing things. But it is. It is the, you're ambitious. You want to make a massive difference, but you don't want to work. Even in Australia, it's 37 hours a week. I know you guys work more than us, but no one on my team works more than 25 hours a week.
Kris Plachy: (23:52)
Salome Schillack: (23:52)
But no one on my team works more than 25 hours a week, and I don't want some cruisy low paying, low stimulation part-time job. They want the high impact, big difference, ambitious, all that masculine stuff that would normally mean they need to go and be a CEO or a director or something in a corporate business where they're going to work 50 to 70 hours a week. They want that, but they want it in a 25 hour week, and I can give that to them, because I don't have the structures that the normal working environment, and especially in the Australian environment where we're more of a labor country than you guys. You guys are a lot more entrepreneurial and independent, where more people want to work for the boss. They want the boss, but they want the freedom as well, and we have a super power that we can give that to them.
Kris Plachy: (24:50)
Absolutely. It's your business. You can do whatever you want.
Salome Schillack: (24:52)
But I like, because I feel like that is, leadership is feminine in practice. That is the thing. I want to talk to you about one thing that I heard on your podcast that when you say this, I was like "Ouch Kris, ouch." Resentment. I remember a day clearly. I think I was pregnant with my second child, when I was outside hanging the washing, and I felt this deep, incredible, absolute sadness, anger and resentment because why the F am I at home hanging the f-ing washing, when my husband gets to be in the office having a job. I think every single woman on this podcast have had that moment. You have an amazing way of making it okay for us to get to that moment. But what do we do after that? Just talk to me a little bit about how do we get to that moment? And once we realize we're there, how do we get out of it?
Kris Plachy: (26:12)
I think if I remember correctly, this was anyway, I was doing a course on overwhelm for female entrepreneurs so I really started thinking about okay, because so many of us, we're always just talking about, "So overwhelming. So much going on." I think you would have even started this goal that way. I was like, “I got this, I got the kids. I got blah, blah, blah." But I had this moment where I realized when I was young, I didn't feel that way. Then I just watched a little video of my life in my brain, and I realized, I think a lot of women do the same thing. We're like, "Ooh, yay, young and free," and all the fun, and then we get married or we get a partner and "It's amazing. This is so fun and now let's get a place to live and oh no, no. It's fine. We can all decorate because I want it to look like what I want it to look like."
Kris Plachy: (27:10)
Then "No, no, no. It's fine. I'll cook because I like to cook the food I want to eat. No, no. I'll do the holiday parties because I would like to use my time. Then we have the children and "No, no, no. I'll take care of. No, no. I'll buy the clothes. No, no, no. I'll get them registered for school. No, no. I'll take them to the doctor," and there's this window, and let's just say somewhere from my age, 24 to 38, depending on when you launch, that's all really fun. It's really, really fun. Then you're sitting doing the laundry or your China's just chill on your couch. "Mom. Where's the ... hey honey, I can't find the ... do you know where the ..." and then you add starting a business. "Hey boss, I can't find the Dropbox folder with the ... Hey do you know, what do you guys ... Hey boss, what do you think about this color for the branding camp?"
Kris Plachy: (28:15)
Then it's like there's this moment where you're like, "Seriously? Can anybody function without me?" The answer is, not really because you built it this way, mama. That resentment is a great indicator that, oh, it's time to flip the script because of course they expect you to make the dinner and do the laundry, take care of the dog while you make the, have the, pay the, build the business, do ... of course they do because you have, but you can change that, and you can rewire your own brain, and rewire everyone else's brain so that you don't feel guilty, and you don't feel like a horrible person because you start teaching people how to take care of themselves, both physically, mentally, and emotionally. That, to me, in my experience is where I meet a lot of my clients, because it's also when their business starts to hit seven figures and they're like, "Wait a minute. Something's got to give."
That's where that comes in. I think resentment is just a great indicator light. It's like, listen, nothing's broken here. Nobody's taking advantage of you, at least not yet, but it feels like that. It does. But it's just agreements you've made along the way. Now, if you've made agreements knowing you didn't want to make the agreement, then that's on you. You got to figure that out. That's where coaching, I think for lots of different kinds of coaching is really valuable, because I was coaching someone today and she said, “I just don't understand. When I'm in the office, everything's great. But as soon as I leave, it's a train wreck." I said, “Okay, let me just ask you a question. When you're in the office, on average, how many questions do you think you answer?"
She felt it. She's like, "Oh, I don't know, 10 to 20." "And when you're in the office and you get asked 10 to 20 questions, how many do you answer?" "10 to 20." I go, "That's the start. The start is when you're in the office, you stop answering and you start redirecting, and you start asking them to tell you what they think would be the best answer. Or hey, give it a shot. Let's see what happens." You start distancing their need for your approval to succeed from you. You give them permission, you empower them to start making their own decisions. But it's a process.
Salome Schillack: (31:10)
That is a process. Because the first thing that comes up for me, when you say that is, yeah, but then they're not going to like me anymore.
Kris Plachy: (31:19)
No, they're not.
Salome Schillack: (31:20)
There's the, see, if I stopped doing this thing, my family, it's going to be uncomfortable. They're going to be surprised, like this is you're imposing change on us, and why your brain is going to sign you're being selfish. Your husband or your children, or your partner, or your children, or your employees might even think you're being selfish. I feel a little bit like the resentment is the fog horn that goes off, that tells you something's wrong.
Kris Plachy: (32:02)
But then you have to work through each one of those moments.
Salome Schillack: (32:06)
The fixing of it-
Kris Plachy: (32:07)
But isn't that interesting to say ... It's so interesting that the antithesis of me doing everything for everyone else is now me being selfish. I find that fascinating. That's a big pendulum swing. Because in my mind selfish is, I don't care about anybody. You can do whatever you want. I'm only going to take care of myself. [inaudible 00:32:31]. I saw something of a mom who had totally lost her mind and she just washed her own fork and her own plate for like a month, and she didn't touch anything else in the house. She was like, “Listen to me, I'm out." She just had her own plate her own fork. I just think that that's because we've all been ingrained that women need to be the nurturers, they need to be available. They need to be open, they need to be accessible. They are supposed to take care of everybody.
Salome Schillack: (33:06)
I think it's important-
Kris Plachy: (33:07)
They do that all at their own expense. Yeah.
Salome Schillack: (33:10)
It's important that we say that fixing it doesn't feel good at first.
Kris Plachy: (33:14)
No, it's terrible.
Salome Schillack: (33:16)
Fixing it is very uncomfortable, and it causes a whole lot of brain chaos at first, because you have to now coach yourself through your own BS that comes up as a result of it. But then you also have to face the people around you who's got the WTA faces.
Kris Plachy: (33:37)
I don't know. If I experienced because I practice what I preach, and a couple of years ago, shortly I think before you and I met, we had a lot going on with our oldest son, and I was obviously starting my own business. We have two other kids. I just had to sit down with my husband I said, “I'm not going to do dinner anymore. I'm all in. I'll help with the groceries. I'll Instacart. I'll do the things. As far as I'm concerned, I can have peanut butter sandwich. I'm over it." We've done sit down dinners. Honestly, the breaking point was my son. I made dinner and he's like, "Oh my God, I can't eat any more broccoli." I'm like, "You know what, I can't either. I can't do it either." For 18 years I've been making dinner and we've had sit down dinners as a family for that long.
He was supportive, but he didn't really believe me. Then there was the one night "What's for dinner." "I don't know. I had a couple of cheese and crackers. What do you feel like?" Our door dash bill has gone up significantly. I don't know if you guys have door dash, but I don't care. That's the other thing, I think a lot of women are like, "I don't want to cook, but I don't want them eating that crap." You know what, you can't do that either ladies takes care of the kids, but he doesn't do it right. He doesn't change the diapers right, he doesn't make the right food. He doesn't hit the bottle up. That's why men get so frustrated. You say you want to go out with the girls, but then you lose your mind when you come home and they're wearing their pajamas backwards.
Salome Schillack: (35:30)
It is true. That is true.
Kris Plachy: (35:31)
You don't get that. I think that's the part we have a lot of work to do. I get the control need, but you have to be able to do that. But that is a big jump that you're selfish. That's a lie. Stop it.
Salome Schillack: (35:44)
That is a lie. But that's a lie that we need to just stop everywhere in everything and do. I'm so glad you said you did the thing with the cooking, because I did it too, and now sometimes it is, like one has baked beans on toast and the other one has 10 spaghetti and it's amazing how quickly the kids start then going, "Oh, well hang on. I can make tacos," and then there's dinner. I'm like, "Oh great. You're making tacos. Make for everyone please. Thank you." I have now started doing, I'm doing that with the washing, I'm doing it with everything. If it's a communal thing that needs to happen in the house for all of us to have clean clothes, be fed, have lunch boxes, it is not a me job. It is an our job, and we need to figure it out.
Kris Plachy: (36:29)
That's really, really cool.
Salome Schillack: (36:31)
To wrap up here. What is your one message to all the visionary women out there building businesses in a more feminine way? If you can leave one thing for women to just hold on to, as we are creating this new way of being leaders, or an old way that is being done in a new environment. What's the one thing that you think if every woman can just know this?
Kris Plachy: (37:07)
I don't know if this is a good answer, but the answer that I have is to find and surround yourself with women who share your values and hold out. That's true for the people you hire, that's true for the women you spend your time with. I think one of the most frustrating things or difficult things about being a woman who's a visionary, and a visionary is a woman who has a thing in her heart. It's not just that you like having a company. It's that you genuinely are driven, either is a thing in your heart that you can't put down and other women like you get you, but trying to be with other women who don't get you, is soul destroying. That's where all that imposter, all that I'm a terrible mother, all that I'm not good at this. What am I thinking? I should be doing ... all that.
As soon as you're with other women who share not your vision, but share that purpose, it's a game changer. I think it's worth holding out for. I think it's important to be incredibly discerning with who you let into your space, because you are gorgeous and powerful and have beautiful energy to share with the world, and giving it to people who haven't, who don't align, or haven't worked to earn it, I don't think that's good news for you. We need you. We need visionary women to be strong and supported and heard. We don't need you hiding because you feel uncomfortable. We need you. The world is changing and we have work to do.
Salome Schillack: (39:13)
I love that so much. I feel like that's, we have permission to be weird the way we're weird, and there's a reason why we feel like we don't fit in with a lot of the other women. I feel like, as soon as I started hanging out with women founders who get it like me, you suddenly, you're given permission.
Kris Plachy: (39:39)
Yeah. You start to soar a little.
Salome Schillack: (39:41)
Yeah, you do. That's fantastic. Kris, thank you so much for being here.
Kris Plachy: (39:45)
It's my pleasure.
Salome Schillack: (39:45)
Where can people learn more about you?
Kris Plachy: (39:48)
Krisplachy.com is my website, and Kris Plachy coach Instagram is probably the best place to connect, connect I would say. But yeah, come on over. We're having some fun. How to CEO, let's do it.
Salome Schillack: (40:03)
Yes. Go to Kris's Instagram. There's lots of golden nuggets on there. It's brilliant. Thank you so much for hanging out with me, Kris. I love you. I appreciate your wisdom. I learn something from you every time you open your mouth and you just keep doing what you do.
Kris Plachy: (40:19)
No pressure. Thank you.
Salome Schillack: (40:23)
All right, take care. Well, I hope you enjoyed this episode just as much as I did. I always have fun hanging out with Kris. She really is an absolute, fountain of wisdom. I want to encourage you to listen to her podcast, go to her Instagram account and just troll that a little bit, and you will get so many golden nuggets that she drops in there. It is really, really makes a difference for any woman trying to build a business, a woman leading. As we navigate this new world that we're living, where leadership is more feminine and the world deserves to have more feminine way of being, Kris is really somebody to follow and to learn from.
I hope you enjoyed it. Have a wonderful, wonderful week. Come and tell me what you learned from Kris. I can't wait to hear from you. DM me on Instagram. I want to hear exactly what you learned from Kris. Have a fabulous week everyone. I'll talk to you next week. Bye. Thank you so much for listening. If you had fun, please come back next week and remember to hit that subscribe button so you never miss a thing.